Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
