Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
