hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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