I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
