last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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