nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sext me about skeletons
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
