i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
