Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
