Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
