It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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