quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
