So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
vagina is talking i cant
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
