He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
