sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
