Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
