I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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