i think i have herpe
just one?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
