my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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