Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
