Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
