"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
