sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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