why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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