Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
