I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
