We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
