Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
