I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
