if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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