I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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