it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
