I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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