well you can't waste a boner
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
