You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
