I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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