party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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