you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
