I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
