my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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