brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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