i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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