Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
