Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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