physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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