She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
