paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
