i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
