He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
