For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
