I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
